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How To Stay Sober When Your Spouse Drinks

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Again, if you’re fearing a relapse due to guilt, distress and shame, then close your eyes and imagine this scenario. Picture your past self standing before you, then take your love and compassion and hold it in a ball of light in front of you.

  • To stay sober during events like these, you must first be honest with yourself.
  • When you walk into a situation believing that you can’t have fun sober, this is likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • When combined with counseling, this approach is proven highly effective.
  • A drinking relapse doesn’t mean you’re a failure or that you’ll never be able to reach your goal.
  • At some point in your recovery, you’ll feel stressed out, whether it’s major stress or minor stress .

Just because you don’t go to the celebration does not mean you can’t have fun or celebrate in your own way. Trust your gut instinct—if you are not ready to attend an event where you know many people will be drinking, honor those feelings. It is more important to take care of your sobriety than attend a party. Maintaining your physical and mental health makes it much easier to make healthy choices and live a positive life. And if you know you’re likely to be around people who drink, having a plan and a support system can make things less stressful. The question is — how do you quit alcohol if all your friends want to do is drink? When you decide to become sober, some friends may feel wary or suspicious of your motives, or simply think you’re not as fun.


    Highest risk

    Instead of criticizing yourself for having a hard time or slipping up and having a drink, remember that no one’s perfect. What matters most is your ability to maintain an open, curious outlook as you learn what does and doesn’t work for you.

    Not only because my portion of the check is significantly smaller than anyone else at the table, but also because I refuse to invest in Big Alcohol. This isn’t to say that all of your friends will be threatened, or that being sober around drinkers all of your friendships will change. Some will certainly remain, but even those aren’t necessarily long-game friendships. Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up.

    Have a Non-Alcoholic Drink on Hand

    Sober living houses offer newly sober men and women the opportunity to adjust slowly to drug and alcohol-free living. Living with drinkers is not a good idea for people that have recently become sober. Much like any other goal in life, long-term sobriety is more manageable in small parts.

    • Or maybe they’re not right for you now, but in the future, they will be.
    • For those of us that have struggled with alcohol addiction, many of the real challenges in recovery come after we have completed a treatment program.
    • If your partner is addicted to alcohol, it’s best not to try to force them to quit if they aren’t ready.
    • A related article has some broad advice on how you can have a social life that doesn’t involve alcohol to begin with.

    Order an orange juice or a coke, and don’t do anything to dissuade people from assuming you’re having a mixed drink. You may need to ask the bartender to serve it the same type of glass as the alcoholic version. On the off chance that someone asks what you’ve got, you can lie, or simply admit there’s no alcohol in it, and turn to one of the other strategies. If you want to drink, just not too much, you could also cycle between mixed drinks and similar-looking alcohol-free ones. So now I’m sober, and I have zero choice but to be me in all situations.

    Spend Time With Real Friends & Family

    I used to self-medicate with one of the most addictive drugs in the world, and I don’t do that anymore. I’ve gone from being one of the drunkest people at the party to being the only sober person.

    How to stay sober around drinkers

    Although it may seem intimidating to face a familiar social situation without the comforting familiarity of a cocktail in your hand, you can survive. The point is that you don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to, but if you do want to, have fun with it. I imagine a man drowning in the ocean, who just before going under for the last time sees a ship sailing towards him. There is nothing like the return of hope to a person who had lost theirs. Learn why honesty is a critical characteristic in sobriety and recovery. How do you prepare for life after treatment, and what kind of help do you need? Ever wonder what a chronic relapser is and how they can affect your family?

    Why Aren’t More People Aware of Medication-Assisted Treatment?

    The symptoms listed above may be a sign of a severe form of alcohol withdrawal called delirium tremens, or DTs. This rare, emergency condition causes dangerous changes in the way your brain regulates your circulation and breathing, so it’s important to get to the hospital right away. Keep a record of your drinking to help you reach your goal. For 3 to 4 weeks, write down every time you have a drink and how much you drink. Reviewing the results, you may be surprised at your weekly drinking habits. After three months, I will cut back my weekend drinking even more to a maximum of two drinks per day and three drinks per weekend. I will limit my Saturday and Sunday drinking to no more than three drinks per day or five drinks per weekend.

    Those who are in recovery should be aware of the healthy and sober ways to show others you still like to have fun and let loose . Approaching recovery with fun and humor can counter the feelings of guilt and shame that often feel overwhelming in early recovery. A “good” alcoholic does not need an excuse to drink.